Author Archives: Dan Bain

About Dan Bain

Dan is an award-winning humorist, features writer, emcee and entertainer from Raleigh, NC. His collection of humor essays, A Nay for Effort, has earned him fans from one end of his couch to the other. Why not join them and buy one? (You won't have to sit on his couch.) Dan will donate 10 percent of the book's proceeds to education. You can check it out at; thanks!

Dadchotomies, papadoxes, and octomorons

One week ago, I had the great honor of delivering this eulogy to my family: Lately, I’ve been listening over and over to a Foo Fighters song. I would have suggested it as one of the tracks for today’s background … Continue reading

Posted in Family | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Cancel vultures

I’ve been seeing the phrase “cancel culture” thrown around a lot lately on politicians’ social media posts; one of them even wants to hold Senate Judiciary hearings on the subject. Can we all just calm down, please? “Cancel culture” is … Continue reading

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Dannotated history

In 2020, I did my best to capture — and sometimes mock — historical highlights of each day. I am by no means a historian, but here’s a recap, for anyone interested: On January 1, 404: A Christian monk named … Continue reading

Posted in Education, Holidays, Nostalgia, Politics, Religion, Sports, Technology, Theatre, Weather, Writing | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Sliding the trails

We live right next to one of Raleigh’s Greenway trails, which I’ve enjoyed. I used to ride my bike on it regularly. During the two years prior to Memorial Day Weekend, I rode it exactly three times. Each outing ended … Continue reading

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Super Bowl halftime woe

Like a whole lot of other people who subsequently made their opinions known, I watched last night’s fiery halftime show. Unlike many of those shared opinions, I found nothing offensive about it. Nor did I lose control of myself. Nor … Continue reading

Posted in Music, Sports, Theatre | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Air drag deployed (part 6: Sold)

While my insurance adjuster was looking for my old car, I was looking at a new one. Kim, Matthew, and I spent that Saturday at nearby dealership, test-driving multiple models and evaluating colors. We finally settled on one that afternoon … Continue reading

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Air drag deployed (part 5: Stalled)

That weekend, I left a message for my claim contact, between her bankers’ hours. Her message had said she had a few questions about the accident, so I recapped it as best I could in a voicemail message – not … Continue reading

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Air drag deployed (part 4: Scrutiny)

Back home, I had the first message from my claim contact. She had called while I was still dealing with the accident, and I thought she must really be on top of things. That was the last time I thought … Continue reading

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Air drag deployed (part 3: Scoob?)

The tow truck arrived about ten minutes later. The guy got out and my first thought was “a right jolly old elf.” He didn’t quite look like Santa, but…he looked like Santa. Perhaps Santa’s southern cousin. He was rotund and … Continue reading

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Air drag deployed (part 2: Shock)

Once I forced my car to hobble onto the shoulder, I turned off the ignition, looked further ahead, and partially solved the mystery of the missing second party. Maybe 300 yards in front of me (I’m a horrible judge of … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Hassles, The Kids, The Wife, Travel | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments