Category Archives: Hassles

Asses and allies

How should guys help a woman when another guy just won’t leave her alone? Continue reading

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Blue Moon on Monday

My wife has loved Duran Duran since they broke through the American music scene in the early 1980s. If I’m being honest, I’ve been a fan since then, too — although I’ve been loathe to admit it ever since being teased … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Hassles, Health, Life and how to live it, Parenting, The Kids, The Wife | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

The law of diminishing retinas

Last Tuesday night, as I was backing out of a parking space, I turned my head to the right to look behind me and spotted a meteor cutting a brilliant line through the sky. Which was weird, because there was … Continue reading

Posted in Hassles, Health | Tagged , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Slammed unc

Psst. Hey, you – the allegedly grown man at the kids’ basketball game tonight. You know who you are – you were sharing your very candid opinions with the refs, the coaches, the players, and the parents all night, as … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Hassles, Life and how to live it, Parenting, Sports, The Kids | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel

You struck during last year’s holiday season. This year, you probably don’t even remember me. But I will remember you forever. Maybe that’s too dramatic, in light of what you did. No one here was physically harmed. In fact, there … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Family, Hassles, Politics, The Kids, The Wife | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

Identity crisis

The following is a copy of an email message I sent in August: To: Dan Bane From: Dan Bain Re: Brand Pain Dear Dan Bane, My name is Dan Bain – a fact that has caused me no end of consternation over the years. … Continue reading

Posted in Bain's Beat, Hassles, Politics | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Feckless checklist

Sitting at home with a sleep-deprived, cranky six-year-old? Check. Trying to pry the ten-year-old away from a new videogame to do homework? Check. Refereeing multiple shouting matches over the shared usage of said videogame? Check. Responsible for delivering three bulky … Continue reading

Posted in Air Travel, Education, Hassles, Health, The Kids, The Wife | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments