Feckless checklist

Sitting at home with a sleep-deprived, cranky six-year-old? Check.

Trying to pry the ten-year-old away from a new videogame to do homework? Check.

Refereeing multiple shouting matches over the shared usage of said videogame? Check.

Responsible for delivering three bulky displays to school this week? Two of them on the same morning? Check, and check.

Looking at two early mornings this week for before-school band practice? Check.

Looking at one late night when I have to get the boys to a saxophone lesson, camp fair and science fair within 90 minutes of one another? Check.

Barely able to move as at least one nasty bug wreaks havoc on my gastrointestinal system while simultaneously sending flu-like pains to every external extremity of my body? Check.

Wife on an airplane, headed out of town for the week? Check.

It’s shaping up to be a memorable week, but before I go any further, I’d like to make a statement:

Checking out now? Check.

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About Dan Bain

Dan is an award-winning humorist, features writer, emcee and entertainer from Raleigh, NC. His collection of humor essays, A Nay for Effort, has earned him fans from one end of his couch to the other. Why not join them and buy one? (You won't have to sit on his couch.) Dan will donate 10 percent of the book's proceeds to education. You can check it out at www.danbain.net; thanks!
This entry was posted in Air Travel, Education, Hassles, Health, The Kids, The Wife and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Feckless checklist

  1. Yeesh. Good luck. Maybe the driving age should be lowered. No? Buses? Options are required.

    • Dan Bain says:

      Thanks. The nausea seems to be passing, but these fever pains are like nothing I’ve ever had. I didn’t know it was possible to have both — thought a flu is a flu and a bug is a bug, and ne’er the twain shall meet. The most bizarre thing, though, is some chills that started up tonight. I tend to run warmer than most, so it’s not like me to shiver at all. But I got out from under the covers a while ago and practically started convulsing from the cold. Shouldn’t keep me from driving, though, so once I have the boys at school, I can come home and sleep it off. I just hope to God they don’t catch it.

    • Dan Bain says:

      (Like you even asked for an update. Sorry.)

  2. Hope things are running more smoothly now. Love that Bugs Bunny – says what a lot of us feel

  3. tricia says:

    hahaha! poor Dan. But, lesser men wouldn’t even attempt that. Good for you. 🙂

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