Wait, don’t go to bed yet — the bargains aren’t over! The best deal of the day is my book, a collection of life lessons called A Nay for Effort. It’s only $14, and I’m not charging any shipping fees for the rest of the year. With 28 stories, that comes to only 50 cents each — beat that!
Plus, I’ll donate 10 percent to education and 10 percent toward the paydown of the national debt. You should order like, a dozen, and give one to each of your friends during the holidays. (Which isn’t to say you have only a dozen friends — maybe you should pretend I didn’t say that part.)
Ugh. I hate this. I really do. That must be why I’m so bad at it (the self-promotion, not the writing). I wrote the book, people tell me it’s hilarious, and I have a bunch of copies taking up space in my office, just waiting to end up under someone’s tree, menorah, or other holiday symbol. So buy one. According to these readers, you won’t regret it:
“This book is hysterical. I couldn’t put it down. In this humorous series of events from the author’s life we can all relate to his kids saying the darndest things or an unfortunate comment landing him in the dog house with his wife. This is a book not to be missed.”
“It made me laugh so hard I had to make an effort not to awaken my family. This heartwarming collection reveals the humor in everyday life, in dealing with hard times and sometimes harder people. This book held the place of honor on my nightstand, for days of fun reading, and left me wanting for nothing, other than more great stories.”
There are others, I promise, but I can’t find them right now. Plus, it’s getting late, and if I put this off much longer, the Black Friday spin won’t be applicable. So I’m going to hit publish, crawl off to bed, and hope that you order my book. If you do, I’ll toss in an inscription and a lovely bookmark — where can you go wrong?
But lest I make this all about me, I’ll close with a shout-out to a different Dan — the Steely variety — with a take on another Black Friday — the scandalous variety. Enjoy: