Remember to dose up for your close-up

Anybody remember the hot topic from this time last year? It was the TSA’s enhanced security measures, which had the nation in an uproar. Part of the problem was the practically nude scans of travelers, prompting people to opt for an enhanced pat-down technique that the rest of us wouldn’t dare try without first buying the subject dinner and a bottle of wine.

The uproar has died down a little, and the TSA even released these reassuring words last week: “TSA has upgraded all millimeter wave Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) units at airports nationwide with new software to further enhance privacy protections by eliminating the image of an actual passenger and replacing it with a generic outline of a person. This technology increases the efficiency of the screening process, is safe for all travelers, and passengers are now able to view the same outline that the TSA officer sees.”

So, they use these scanners to look under a person’s clothing for dangerous, threatening items, then eliminate the resulting image before they look at it? That sounds effective.

Does anyone actually believe this, or do you get the idea they’re blowing smoke up some of the parts they’re gawking at on their screens?

Fear not; there are ways to fight back. I suggested a few last year. The fervor has died down, but the issue is still there — and I encourage every patriotic American to read my TSA PSA from last year, rededicate themselves to the cause, and fart in the face of fascism.

Give ’em smell, America.

About Dan Bain

Dan is an award-winning humorist, features writer, emcee and entertainer from Raleigh, NC. His collection of humor essays, A Nay for Effort, has earned him fans from one end of his couch to the other. Why not join them and buy one? (You won't have to sit on his couch.) Dan will donate 10 percent of the book's proceeds to education. You can check it out at; thanks!
This entry was posted in Air Travel, Bathroom humor, Hassles, Holidays, Politics, Technology and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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