The city of Las souls, Epilogue

CES is still going on, but my company’s role is finished. We finished tear-down around 1:30am, then wandered the casino for a bit in search of a fitting end. We never found it, but settled for a small restaurant where I immediately began to nod off at the table. I left the few remaining team members to enjoy their final beer right across from one of the guys who’d gate-crashed our lounge, both Thursday and Friday. I was relieved to see him alone and having to pay for his own food and liquor at last.

Walking toward the front of the restaurant, I had to make way for the ball-gag guy and his friends whom I had seen wandering the casino floor earlier. They had colored wigs, latex clothing and several accessories that I could only assume they’d bought at the other convention.

I left the casino and promptly found myself lost. It was late, I was exhausted and I hadn’t been to this part of the casino before. I was used to the single path I’d been taking for days, from the elevators to the lounge, so I started a slow circumvention around the casino in an effort to find it. Not until I came full circle and wound up in front of the same restaurant, did I realize it was right there and I’d simply turned the wrong way coming out. Hobbling toward the elevators, I got a kick out of wondering how many people were watching me, thinking, What a weirdo.

As I write this, I’m at 30,000 feet once again and heading home. No wireless on this flight, but I might as well write it now, then copy and paste it once I’m on the ground and online again. That should be easy enough, but there’s no way I’d be able to write something from scratch once I’m home – I’ll be too busy hugging my family and kissing the ground.

Yes, I’m glad to leave Vegas behind me. I begrudgingly admit that it was fun to watch the shenanigans, but I won’t miss them. I’m ready now to offer them an ambassadorial wave and return to my native country.

From the Royal Chamber, inside the War Room

(And possibly take a cold shower.)

Sure, there are fun shows, good food and pretty lights in Vegas, but they aren’t what it’s really about. You have to remember, that city knows how to polish the turd. What we’re seeing is the façade, the glitter that hides the true Vegas – a land of despair, anger and lust. I don’t want to be there; I’m ready to get back to a normal place, a place where I don’t have to encounter the things I’ve shared in this blog during the past four days….

In other words, a place where people don’t walk around with suggestive phrases written on their behinds…

…or with their behinds completely hanging out…

A place where you don’t have to worry about a stranger either picking your pocket…

…or possibly groping you…

A place where people don’t try to go to parties they weren’t invited to…

…or insist that they’re entitled to certain things regardless of the rules that apply to everyone else…

Finally, a place that doesn’t prey on people’s desperate desire to get rich quick…

Yep, it’ll be good to be back in the real world again….

About Dan Bain

Dan is an award-winning humorist, features writer, emcee and entertainer from Raleigh, NC. His collection of humor essays, A Nay for Effort, has earned him fans from one end of his couch to the other. Why not join them and buy one? (You won't have to sit on his couch.) Dan will donate 10 percent of the book's proceeds to education. You can check it out at; thanks!
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2 Responses to The city of Las souls, Epilogue

  1. Marlee says:

    I’ve really enjoyed reading about your adventures in Vegas, Dan! It makes for great reading, especially with you writing it! 🙂

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