Playing the losery

It just isn’t fair. Not only did these two women win the top prize from my favorite lottery scratcher; they bought their winners at my favorite stops. I swear to God, about 2-3 days before each of them claimed her winnings, I bought the same scratcher at the same store. Assuming it took each of them 2-3 days to recover from the shock and go claim her prize, chances are good she bought her scratcher just before or after I bought my losers.

But it’s not fair to call both of mine “losers” — one of them actually broke even. So the next morning, I stopped at the same Wilco, went inside to redeem it for another and gave up after waiting in line for too long. Who wants to bet the woman behind me was a waitress named Julie?

As for the loser I bought at Kerr in November, I distinctly remember being polite and letting a woman get in line ahead of me. If that was Gail, it seems her Christmas was on me.

Think I could sue either one of them? Or should I just take it as a sign that I should stop playing the stinkin’ lottery?

Yep, maybe I should just give up the dream and go back to making money the old-fashioned way — by knocking over a liquor store….

About Dan Bain

Dan is an award-winning humorist, features writer, emcee and entertainer from Raleigh, NC. His collection of humor essays, A Nay for Effort, has earned him fans from one end of his couch to the other. Why not join them and buy one? (You won't have to sit on his couch.) Dan will donate 10 percent of the book's proceeds to education. You can check it out at; thanks!
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